Is Oral Sex acceptable within the perimeters of Marriage?

I just spotted your retired, wrinkled eyes peeking through your Forty Two (42) years of marriage and wondering what glory have you missed or what obscurity is this neonatal Child of God bringing to the table.

But not to worry, you can either learn through my writings or you may scrutinize based on your own perception, conception or just merely your conviction. So let’s firstly look at marriage. Marriage in its biblical sense is the union of man and woman as husband and wife, or, abstractly the union or relationship viewed as an institution. Marriage was divinely instituted in the Garden of Eden in the form of monogamy which we would clearly see in Genesis 2:24, “Therefore a man should leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh.” Noah also could be described as the second founder of the race, had only one wife as it is explained in Genesis 7:7, “So Noah, with his sons, his wife and his son’s wives went into the ark because of the waters of the flood.”

The new testament also approves only monogamy as explained in Matthew 19:3-9. So then we clearly see that the birthright design of a marriage is man and woman solely monogamy and not polygamy. Now let us look closely at sex. In the Noun context Sex maybe defined as sexual activity including sexual intercourse. Also let’s view oral sex. Oral sex is the sexual activity in which the genitals of one partner are stimulated by mouth of the other.

Now that we have looked closely at those subjects by definition lets look at what the bible says about it all. While the bible does not specifically address either question, there are definitely biblical principles that apply. So we may ask the question, “Is Oral Sex a sin?” Let us look at what Hebrew 13:4 states, “Marriage is honourable in all and the bed undefiled; but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” Because marriage is honourable unto God and the bed remains undefiled, any sexual activity that involves ONLY

the wife and husband is acceptable by God. We must remember that Sex was designed solely for married couples. Because of the guidelines that were laid out, we should be confident as to how far we go in our sexual pleasures for example, in Thessalonians 4:3-5 it states that adultery is sin. What is adultery we may ask? Adultery is the willful violation of the marriage contract by either of the parties, through sexual intercourse with third parties. It was forbidden by the seventh commandment. With this being said, we see therefore that the sexual pleasures of threesome, engaging a third person or other parties are forbidden by God hence this kind of sexual act defiles the bed.

Oral sex is a type of sex that may very well be between wife and husband. Sex outside of marriage are looked at as fornication, which fornication is said to be a sin. Non-married couples are not to practice such a act because since the time of Adam and Eve, God made sex to be a beautiful expression of love for married couples.

In order to properly analyze your sex life to judge if its in alignment with the guidelines of God, you may ask yourself these several questions:

Is there mutual consent?

As it states in 1 Corinthians 7:5, ” Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self control.” This shows the importance of mutual consent in any decision that may or may not affect your sexual relationship with your husband or your wife.

Is adultery a sin?

1 Thessalonians 4: 3-5 states, “For this reason, when i could no longer endure it, i sent to know your faith, lest by some means the tempter had tempted you and our labour might be in vain.”

Is viewing Pornography, a sin?

Matthews 5: 28 states, ” But i say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” So we see here that viewing pornography and being aroused by such sight of the woman or man in the act, we become lustful and sin in our hearts and by sight.

Why do you want oral sex, is it to fulfill a pornography fantasy or for just pure sexual pleasures?

1 John 2: 16 states, ” For all that is in the world the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life is not of the Father but is of the world.”

Are you convicted by it that it is wrong?

John 16:8 states, “And when he is come, he will reprove the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgement.”

To help us to better understand what the conviction of sin is, we may look at what it is or may not be. The first important thing we must know is that conviction of sin is not a guilty heart or even shameful face of what sinful act there may. Such feelings are commonly experienced by almost if not everyone. However, this is not true conviction of sin. The second thing to look at is, conviction of sin is not a sense of trepidation or foreboding of divine punishment. It is never being fearful or anxious of any act of sin. These feelings are also generally experienced in the hearts and mind of sinners. True conviction of sin is something absolutely different. The word convict is translated in the greek word elencho, which means, “To convince someone of the truth; To reprove; To acuse; To refute; or cross examined a witness.”

What the holy spirit does is to act as a prosecuting attorney who reveals evil, reproves evil-doers and convinces people that they need a saviour. To be convicted simply is to feel the sheer loathsomeness of sin. This comes about when we have seen God’s purity, holiness, his beauty and also when we recognize that sin cannot dwell with him, Like what Psalms 5:4 and Isaiah 6:5 explained about his sinless character. So let us understand the true meaning of conviction before we even answer those guideline questions. Because on many occasions we have a tendency to confuse guilt and shame for conviction and it is not so.

So what is God saying to you, are you sinning to please your husband or wife by orally edifying him or her?

Or are you in one accordance with God’s words and his guidelines when you orally pleases your husband or your wife?

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Thank you for joining.

2 Comments

  1. I’m a married man for 6 years and continuing. I love my wife dearly i think i please her more than i get please my self (oral sex) i love when my wife enjoys me …plus when ever I’m doing it i think of her and look deep in her eyes and see a flower blossoming for the first time every time …it is just for married couples only

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