Lying lips are an abomination to the LORD, But those who deal faithfully are His delight. Proverbs 12:22. Repeatedly we view ourselves as righteous and holy, yet we live miles away from truth. Truth becomes that far distance cousin who we only visit on special holidays or better yet truth becomes our so-called holiday church spirit which we only visit on Easter, Christmas and New Years Eve. We try to justify our lying lips by using statements such as:
‘A joke mia mek man’
‘Chro petty lie anuh lie’
‘Obligation to confidentiality’
‘It was just a suprise’
‘Yuh never ask me, suh mi jus neva bada seh nutten’
‘Mi neva mean it deh way deh’
‘Mi neva kno how fi tel yuh’
‘Babes mi neva wah hurt yuh’
‘Mi kno yuh wuda get upset’
Etc. There are so many different scenario of lies, repeated lies. The saddest thing about it, we train our children in the same manner to practically lie while confusing them with our theories. We say to them, ‘Children thou shalt not lie, its an abomination to God, lying is wrong.’ Yet, the co-worker who you owed $5000 have stopped by your home for repayments and what do you do?
‘Trecia,’ you whispered.
‘Yes mom,’ Trecia whispered as well.
‘Tell Melicka, I am not home.
Trecia walked briskfully to the door. As she opened the door and pleasantly said good morning, she then said, ‘Melicka, mom said to tell you she isn’t home.’ Trecia vehemently covers her mouth in shock as her eyes opened wide fearing what the results maybe. How do you think that child felt or Melicka or even how do you think the mother felt? All three experienced a moment of confusion, fear, deception, disturbance, shock and regrets. Lies are lies, whether big or small, the effects of lies are dependent on each person’s unique design. If we speak against lies daily then why is it we normalize it on the other end. Are we then saying, lies are uniquely bipolar? This minute it functions as a norm and in a split second it changes to the code of wrongs? Lies cannot be measured via a scale or numerically calculated, it cannot be understood as a categorized fire, flame or explosion neither can it be explained via a time machine sequence. Just like sin, its neither big nor small. A sin is a sin and a lie is a lie and a lie is a sin and they both are intertwinably wrong. Lies creates the existence of perforation. Perforate means to pierce and make a hole or holes in to form a separation. When you have lied to someone, it may scar the person emotionally and may create an invisible hole in the person’s heart that forces the person to feel hurt, angry and bitter against the perpetrator. It creates a separation between the liar and the victim as the quality of the relationship becomes broken. When you are dishonest, be it a big or a small lie, it breaks down trust, loyalty, respect, reliability, honesty, assurance, love, unity, peace and security. With this being said, lies maybe looked at as perforated, hence my topic Perforated Lies. Dishonesty have been played with like a new toy around the world for centuries. It is even found in some distasteful situations of the latent, psychopathic mind. The mind that have the sole purpose of making his or her victims believe the very lies by using discreet manipulative tactics. The toxic shadow of emotional abuse perforates your soul subconsciously and dictates your level of insecurities. The emotional abuser lies repeatedly inorder to control and compromise the victim’s reaction. As soon as an emotional abuser discovers their victim is leaving their control, they alter their behaviour to match that of the victim’s desire. For eg. Your husband was always unhelpful and allows you to do everything: Cook, take care of the children, wash, clean, work the same 9 to 5 job as he does, and look after him. The moment you decided to leave, he retraced his actions and immediately takes care of chores such as: Bathing the child/children, cooking, cleaning or even doing outside cleaning without you making that suggestion. This discreet manipulation makes you re-think your decisions and foster his remedial change. The abuser becomes happy because now he got you where he wants you, back under his control. This becomes harder for you because now you have regained trust and now it is more difficult for you to leave, because now you are possibly pregnant after all that make-up shenanigans. At this point the emotional abuser becomes complacent again and his distinct abusive character is now visible again. Now he believes you would never leave, he got you right where he needs you, in his web.
Now your heart, your soul and your securities become perforated with his lies that you have lost yourself in the midst.
Do not allow yourselves to be swaddled in emotional abuse. Emotional abuse is silent yet it is the most dangerous abuse that exist world wide. Anything that targets your mind be it unhealthy and tries to reprogram that weapon is dangerous. Though emotional abuse is not physical, it is physically connective in that, it encapsulates lies that may force you to suicide, to spiritual death, to character misdeamenor, to identity death and also may lead you to be psychopathically abusive to your own loved ones. Emotional abuse and its lies may be physical too because it is physiological in its core. When a liar believes they are in control of their lies and their lies are really to target the victim, it is not so. When a liar, is dishonest, he or she is really lying to themselves. He or She is continuously shaping their own psychopathic future in that, they themselves start to believe their own lies and their lies have now become a norm, what we refer to as a pathological liar. A pathological liar maybe described as an individual who chronically tells grandiose lies that may stretch or exceed the limits of believability. While most people lie or at least bend the truth occasionally, pathological liars do so habitually. Pathological lying should be considered a distinct psychological disorder because of its non motive habitual structure.