Grief’s Terrain

Joshua 1:9 states, ‘Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

Those are the very words of God, comforting and reassuring. At the end of our trials, we then ask a rhetorical, ‘Who could it be but God.’

I could just imagine, you are in bed or in your thoughts, all curled up, feeling the rush of emotional paralysis through your body. Then drip by drip, you feed from those tear drops, yet you are still thirsty, ‘Grief’s Terrain,’ I called it. Many times we view grief as an occasional monster in our lives, either we live or die but greiving, though painful, plays a vitol role in the process of healing. If we are not faced with uncontrollable situations, then we will forget who controls life and death. If we have never experienced grief or sadness, we could not appreciate the fruit of joy, happiness and deliverance, we would not understand the gift of healing from God. Grieving is the process God uses to bring us to a place of wholeness. As the bible would say in Psalms 147: 3, ‘He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.‘ The profound meaning of that scripture cannot possibly be understood, if you have not lost all control, if you have never lost hope, if you have never loss a loved one, in short if you have never experienced grief. God’s way of reminding us of who he is and the majesty of his works may sometimes be mind bubbling to us because we hold on tight to that which are tangible as a form of having the idea of control. But then the mystery of God reminds us, he is God and God alone, he giveth and he taketh and all that is done to his Glory, in the fulfillment of his purpose.

Because death is so personal and so untimely and so dramatic and spontaenuous, makes it impossible for anyone to be prepared for the grief to come. Many times we engaged ourselfs in grief’s packaging, that we lose ourselves in that process of shock and denial. It is very important, we seek to speak about our insecurities and our hurt and pain we face after losing something or someone we proclaim as close. Though their are stages of bereavement, it is intricately unique in its design to match every person’ uniqueness and their electric response to death of a loved one. The five stages of bereavement are:


It is hard to accept the unsurities and the non existing time frame of death. It is difficult to not being able to say sorry about the distasteful things you have said or the bonding moments you missed out on or the promises you haven’t got to fulfill or just the thought of not being able to let the person know, ‘I love you.’ This stage allows you time to go through the shock slowly as you deny the event. For all you care, it isn’t real, it is just a dream. At this stage, the reality of it haven’t filtered in as yet, now you have become numb and you wonder why? But though its easier to say this, ‘Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted,’ Matthew 5:4, it is indeed true. But how do we comfort someone who mourns greatly? How do we comfort the mother of a 6 month old deceased child or the Cousin of a young girl who died too soon? God’s words are stronger than any giant that exists. It is who God is, to hear, is to do it and to do it, is to proclaim it. Though you are in denial because it is apart of the process of grief, don’t allow yourselves to be swaddled in the lies of the devil, to be lost in that denial where it affects you mentally and deprives you of God’s richest gift; Healing. Allow time and God to take you healthily to the next stage depending on your uniqueness.

Anger is said to be the second stage. In this stage you have already started to accept the reality of losing a loved one, you have already started the healing process at the latter part of the denial stage. Anger perpetually extends to persons who embark your individualized circle that you have created. By now you have gotten so angry as the thought of your loss linguers in your head and you start to ask the, ‘What if’s and the why’s and the how’s.’ The thing about anger is that it dissipates as your anger grows daily. Anger suggests strength and can lead to rage if not being treated with love and care. Anger is a way of creating a walk way to your loss, that you may always have access when ever you need. It is a protective cape you wear that seals the thing or individual deep within, so that anyone who tries to ascertain your possession, will be barricaded by your anger. Though it is a healthy stage of bereavement, if you are not careful, it would lead you to external loneliness, as those around you will nolonger want to be faced with your anger. Speak to someone, share your brudens, release your fears and allow yourself to breathe again. Like Ephesians 4:25-27 states, ‘Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity. Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speaking truth each one of you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another.’ As neighbors, we are to share our brethrens burdens. As I speak to you, I am speaking also to myself because sometimes, it is within our advice to others, we help our ownselves.

The third stage is bargaining. We say to ourselves, ‘If only I could reverse the time, I would make it right.’ Or, ‘God if you give me back what I have lost, i would serve you endlessly, I would devote myself to your cause.’

The bargains we make, if only we used our emotions less and focus on the principles of loss, easier said than done right?

Sometimes bargaining may seem like a mockery to God but it is one of the several stages of bereavement. It is actually natural. The segment of bargain I don’t favour, is the repititive fault finding questions of yourself, ‘I didn’t spend much time, Why did I not say I love you or tried even harder so he or she may experience the stingless death, death in Christ.’ Or, ‘I could have prevented him or her from going to that place of Sheol.’ At the stage of bargaining, do not reflect too much on the questions that plague your mind. Continue speaking about it to others especially of Godly wisdom, who would know what to say and when to say it according to God’s words. You don’t want to be speaking about your pain, only to hear, ‘it is all your fault.’ Even if it is so, you don’t want to be reminded of that, just as Proverbs 17:27 declares, ‘He who restrains his words has knowledge, And he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.‘ Speak to people of great Godly wisdom, as you go through the process of healing.

The fourth stage is, Depression. By now your adrenaline is all over the place, causing withdrawal syndromes and post traumatic stress disorders and delayed panick attacks. This stage is infact normal. It is normal for anyone to experience this type of depression when going through a trauma. It is not to be considered a mental issue but rather a reactive reflex to turmoils and uncontrollable, unforseen experiences. We all have experienced some level of depression but we should never feed it with fear but with the antidote of faith. I remember my most traumatic experience and it had caused me to battle with anxiety panick attacks for two years. Through thorough researches and repeated prayers and fasting, I understood that anxiety is fed off fear and so I have developed the notion to say, ‘ Faith is the antidote of fear.’ Once you replace all your fears with faith of God, no foul spirit can linguer, no devil can attack and no diabolical operations can take place. This stage is crucial that you maintain your focus on the words of God and to be reassured that he lives and he heals. Psalms 73:26 says, ‘My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.‘ Can you imagine God being the strength of your troubled heart and the portion of your failures forever? God is a good God, he knows what you are able to bear long before you knew yourselves. He believes in our ability to conform. Why can’t we believe in his supremacy and sovereignty even in the midst of our loss? God is amazing and even in our loss, the spirit of gratitude is needed. Have you ever deeply penetrated the book of Job and observe the many loss he beared yet Job had the spirit of gratitude and blessed God for the God that he is as illustrated in Job 1:21, ‘Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.

The final stage is Acceptance. Acceptance brings fort closure but you may still be experiencing that loneliness or hurt. At this stage, you understand the reality of your loss and now you have the ability to control your reaction and may be open to an all new perception of bereavement and the lessons you have learnt through it all. Now you will see the fullness of God and his mighty works that whatever may seem impossible to you, is indeed possible to God. Like the bible says in Romans 8:28, ‘And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.‘ Never phatom the works of God. God makes no mistakes, he allows and he commands and this you may understand, this too shall pass.

Prayer for bereavement:

Lord I humble myself before you. I know I am not worthy o God but I pray you have mercy on me. I place my family members and friends and myself, even those I do not know before you, that you may open your store room of blessings unto us and grant us strength, give us courage to accept the things we cannot control, give us peace o Lord to gracefully and deligently go through what ever process you take us through. Give us the tolerance Lord to love those who may be hurting differently and give us the faith not to fear that which we cannot see. I veto untimely death, I come against accidents, infirmities, fear. I veto the womb of satan, I cast a miscarriage now, destroy the devil’s plan o God and let your will be done. In Jesus Christ name, Amen.

The Prisoner….

My apologies for the lengthy time it took me to publish, ‘The Prisoner.’ I have found it so difficult to write my present stories that hold some of my most sensitive testimonies, especially ones that have tarnished my life’s journey greatly. However, I have managed to make it through this prison gate, some may not like it and others may feed from it. At the end, I hope you enjoy a good read.

I was 11 years old when I first met my dad. Unlike others whom have met their dad long before they could even understand what it meant to see life through one eye, I met my dad when I was old enough to understand right from wrong. To make my life even more complex, confusing and dramatic, would you believe me if I told you I met my Step-Father, who is now deceased long before my real dad lol?

Yes I know, the irony of it all reminded me of an anime yet to be seen. I met my step father, who is now deceased since I was 5 years old. Here is the anime segment, since then, there wasn’t anyone like my step-dad, not my mom, not my dad, no-one, well, except for God. In my eyes, he was never wrong. I would have usually played Judge Judy and sentenced my mother to days of resentment and the, ‘not speaking to you punishments,’ because I would have blamed her for his wrongs, even if she was right. I was so hungry for what is called a Father, that I was blinded to the plot of the devil, besides, I was too young anyways to even understand what it meant to be spiritually blinded. I didn’t want to be father-less so badly that I was willing to lose moments of truth with my mother because I knew my mother would always be my mother. Because of my biological father’s absenteeism, he didn’t mean much to me so I blocked him entirely from my thoughts to prevent face to face encounter with anger, resentment, obscurities, bitterness, regrets, doubts, fears and my own lethargic disillusionment. I understood how to build my own prison since I was able to alternate between happiness and sadness. Since then I have discovered my talent as a writer. As a child growing up, the most I could have written, were little cute sentences like, ‘Roses are red violets are blue, I have a dad but where are you?’ I would cut the bottoms off those little orange juice boxes and create gift cards and decoratively write on them and present them to love ones. So yes, I have been a writer, a giver and an analyzer since age 4. Growing up having an absentee parent forces you to develop skills and talents at a rather early age because that becomes your pain blocker and it may very well be the irons and walls that you have used to design your prison.

Do you believe in Angels? That’s what I thought my late step- father was. He would tease my inner cravings of a father with gifts of any child or teen-age girl’s desire. Anything I wanted, I got. At school, my friends would used to say, ‘You are so lucky to have a problem-free life.’ Or, ‘That’s so awesome you have a step parent that is nice because all step parents are horrible.’

‘Lucky,’ they said, I was, ‘lucky.’ Unknowingly they spoke of what they saw, not knowing that I had built an effective prison that even myself started to believe I lived the perfect princess life. So I really started to believe all my friends had so many different problems from broken homes to incest to abuse to disabilities not to mention identity and gender confusions, while I was living this problem free life. I mean based on the intensity of their problems, I felt like I didn’t have one.

But then one day, the truth slapped me so hard, I bit my tongue. My cousin that I was more than twice her age came to live with us and during that period my mom was in New York City for some time. So one day, I had a number of cousins stopped by to see me just in time to taste that lucious curry shrimp remedy my late step father would usually make. It was time to eat at the family table and I remembered if ever a time I gagged so hard, it was at that time being seated at that table. All I heard my late step father said, was, ‘Yuh know seh yah one likkle devil.’ I looked up suddenly, as I tried to figure out who he made reference to as I gagged on my food. Only to see, that he directed those words to my youngest cousin. I looked at him with disgust and couldn’t help it but to intervene. I said defensively, ‘Any adult whom looked at a child and called him or her a devil, is the devil himself.’ Little did I know, that he was indeed the devil.

So as days went by, months and years, the prison I built grew rapidly as I have discovered I had built that prison to detain myself and to guard myself from such evil. A prisoner I called myself, not many knew that I was invisibly detained.

A prisoner is described in the oxford dictionary as, ‘A person legally committed to prison as a punishment for a crime or while awaiting trial.‘ Then it went on to say, ‘ A person who is or feels confined or trapped by a situation and or a person captured and kept confined by an enemy or criminal.’ Over the years I have lived in such a confined environment that I used to push my mother away just to have peace in the home, just so my late step father would have all his time with her. Yes I know, you probably thinking, ‘What a chicken,’

He hated me because of the tight and close knitted relationship I have with my mother. Through those moments of loneliness and rejection God became my very best friend. Every night I studied the bible and every night I prayed. Then I remembered I got this dream of this man with long beards, a golden image and was on this white horse and he stretched out his right hand and called me by using hand gestures. Was a beautiful image, with that dream I then made the decision to be baptised, then I encouraged my little cousin and my mother. When both got baptised my late step father became possessed, he became a Lesion instead.

Peace was no longer an experience for us. Soon after, my cousin left and went back to live with her mother, leaving my mother and I and the devil. I used to have dreams of what was to come, dreams of deception, dreams of pain, dreams of judgment, dreams of betrayal and dreams of nicromancies. . Years of verbal abuse made me focused less in school, so when I was to take 9 exams, I took only 6, though I got all 6 with distinctions and credits, the fragments remained and the truth linguered, the devil robbed me yet again. With nights of fear and terror I used to sleep with one of those butcher knives under my bed, my sleeps became closed eyes while my brain still functions as though I was awake, so that I may hear every movements inside my mother’s room, that I may give him a taste of his own medicine. He hated me so much, especially when I spoke the word of God, he would say, ‘yuh voice come in like pin a juk mi up, mi hate hear yuh mouth guh ina yuh room man.’ And I would go. I was so obedient because of how my mother grew me and as a single parent I knew she worked hard so the least trouble I give would show her that I absolutely love her. I carried that pain every day because I know she got into that relational situation because she felt It would have been best for me. As years past I got weakened, as nights would come and literally I would be afraid to close my eyes because of repeated attacks. Have you ever felt like something holding you down in your sleep and you are awake and can’t speak and all you could do is shout, ‘Jesus!’

Well for months that was my experience until I started to have the most painful chest aches, chest pains that caused me to can’t move. My mother always know the remedy though, a huge jar of water that is consecrated by her prayers. And all he would do in that moment is look and as I looked in his eyes, I met Satan himself. Years I battled with an infirmity of blood issues. I was severely anaemic, I had repeated stomach issues, I had terrible chest pains and days and nights of dizziness. I became so isolative, all I wanted to do is run away from a battle I didn’t think was mine, because I was so innocent to life. Prison isn’t a grand place to be the bible tells you in Revelation 2:10, ‘Do not fear what you are about to suffer. Behold, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and for ten days you will have tribulation. Be faithful unto death, and I will give you the crown of life.‘ Well both my mother and I experienced a huge ordeal.

Though I used to warn my mother, for some reason, complacency allowed her to remain, ministerial advices allowed her to continue and so she ignored the signs. Word of advice to the naive and those whom believe changing a person is in their control or for those whom are fearful of starting over or even to simply walk-away; Never underestimate signs. Signs are granted to us as an expression, as a voice of God, never ignore it.

Abuse is obnoxious in its own identity in that if you are not careful, you would believe you are the problem. Abuse can be observed in many different form. Just to name a few: emotional, physical, social, financial, even spiritual etc. Don’t believe for a minute that your emotional abuser will not try to harm you. An abuser is imprisoned by their own thoughts and by their own deeds. They cannot and will not change unless they are willing to change, a few days change isn’t considered a change, that is considered an act of strategic manipulation; all abusers have that one gift in common. My late step-father tried to murder my mother and I have lived with that pain for years. However, I will not share this story here, because that is a topic by itself. Over the years my experiences have lead me to discover, my mind and how I perceived things was my prison. I could not be freed until I understood the formation of strong holds, and the trickery of seeds. It was after 6 years of marriage that I became sensitive to imprisonment because I became immune to it. I was tired of a repitition, I became frustrated of generational curses, I became intolerable to the devil’s plan and the lies and deception that came with it. It was through the innocent, meaningful soul, my son, that gave me the courage to loose myself from bondages and from things that doesn’t foster growth of prosperity in my life and like wise that of my son. God spoke to me through the innocense of my son, to this day I am breaking down irons, I am breaking down walls, so I maybe freed and that I would be annointed to recognize prisons and prisoners and share my remedies so they maybe delivered.

Our mind is the battlefield, we fight our toughtest and all battles there. So God said, ‘put on the whole armour, guard yourselves for battle like a soldier when they prepare for war. Put on the helmet of Salvation. Put on the breastplate of righteousness. Grip your loins with the belt of truth. Put upon your feet the preparation of peace. Put in your hands the shield of faith and have the sword of God’s true and living words in your mouth.

Woman thou art loosed! Free yourselves from the babbling fire of Satan. Make that step while you can and when you do, never look back because looking back maybe your very last chance.

Prayer of Freedom:

Dear God, I seek thee o Lord, that you search me right through and if there be anything seen or unseen that goes against your will, cleanse me. Forgive me o Lord of all that I have done. Restore that which brings fort your purpose. Free me o Lord from a negative mind, for you said, ‘You didn’t give me the spirit of fear but of power and of love and of a sound mind.’ You are my deliverer o God, teach me thy ways so my thoughts and my mind maybe transformed, for you said, ‘My thoughts are not your thoughts and my ways are not your ways.’ Thank you Lord for rescuing me, when I needed to be rescued, in Jesus Christ name, Amen.

A mother’s love

T’was a hectic night when all chaos was over and done with, I sat with my folded legs in my old, worn and odourful sofa that my moma had for years, cuddled between my cushions and blanket with my hand plagarizing my cheek and right there and then I thought to myself, the space between time should be my focal point. I took a quick gaze at my son as he slept peacefully and instantly, I spoke, ‘If ever a time my decisions in life affects you, i am sorry. Just know, that I have made those decisions with the assumptions that they would be best for you.’

So though those decisions may very well be undesirable of you, you were the focal point and I’ve trusted that my decisions would be the best thing for you. With that being said, my son never forget the power that God resides in you. Never underestimate truth and what orchestration it may reveal. Never for one minute deny your manhood, always aim at improving yourself day by day and allow faith to empower your journey. Be fearless in your endeavours, be it good. Be the man many fail to be, love yourself first, so you may understand what it means to love another. Be grateful for your wife and children and be that firm back bone in which your wife and children envelopes their fate because of the God in you. Be the vessel to which your wife looks for a prophet, a provider, a peace maker and a priest. If for one minute you fall, remember the principles of getting up, climbing up, picking up, brushing off and restarting.

My son, I trust you will hearken unto God’s teachings so that your wife will never curse you, for if she does then she may very well curse me, for I am responsible for the pot you become. For this cause I understand that my purpose is greater than I’ve ever thought and that my job as a mother isn’t easy but for this I trust that God have empowered me to be the potter and cornered you to the Potter’s house, where moulding and training takes place. For if ever a time I be biased with my teachings, I pray the Lord will reshape you and give you a devine shape that mankind cannot break.

If ever my love for you becomes questionable to you and if ever a moment your love for me becomes a love-hate scenario, remember it took a Mother’s love to dedicate you in prayer and fasting for 7 days so that conception maybe succesful and your birth maybe GRAND. Only true love that would have caused a mother to deny herself, and only the love of a mother is second to that of God’s love for you, that he granted you life. When a mother’s love and God’s love join together, it purges doubt and casteth out all fear. A mother’s love is declaring that I don’t expect you to love me the way I do. Infact, I don’t expect you to love me at all just because of my love for you or just because I have sacrificed my whole life for you but rather to love you and to serve you unconditionally so you may experience God’s mighty work through me and in that you may understand the epitome of love.

Tithing Your Purpose

I must admit, I was rebellious, sloppy and tardy with no substance or control just like you. It took me twelve (12) years to realize I was absolutely living a lie.

My image suggested greatness but my livelihood suggested mediocracy. Kudos to you, you are not alone in this catepillar mess. You are not the only one who cheated God, cheated systems, cheated purposes, cheated images, talents, gifts and people. Lets face it, we are not the only ones who have lied.

Now that we have gotten acquainted with our similarities, let me begin my topic, Tithing Your Purpose. What is your Purpose?

look at you bouncing those weary thoughts in your head, pondering, do I have a purpose, why haven’t I ever thought of that before? Don’t worry, we all got that one blonde moment in our lives that beats us in the race. We all have a purpose, and many times our purposes have not been recognized or fulfilled because of some wrongful habitual acts that surround our lives. REMEMBER, where you are now, isn’t where you are purposed to be. What you have done, doesn’t dictates your future. Your reaction to life’s discoveries, whether good or bad, is what dictates your path. CHOICE is our number one medium. Though God have fore-known and predestined us, he also granted us, FREE-WILL. For this reason, our paths are curved and derailed by the choices we make. Also remember it is not by our works we are saved, but it is by his un-meritted favour. The only thing that was given to us freely is life and love, what falls thereafter, we must work or pay some sort of price for it. Though Heaven was created by God and God loves us all, Heaven isn’t free. Heaven requires hard work, dedication, patience, trust, believe, faith, perseverance and true righteousness to gain permittance. Heaven isn’t free, not all would be able to afford the price for Heaven, like-wise, many cannot afford the price for hell. I mean i would prefer to make the sacrifice and sweat for Heaven’s permittance, wouldn’t you?

Heaven isn’t sloppy, it’s not tardy, disoriented, disorganized, filthy and it’s surely not cheap. Like the Our Father prayer stated, “So it is in Heaven, so shall it be on earth.” Our lives should only reflect that which Heaven reflects. We should never get complacent in stagnation, slums, sloppiness, tardiness, filth, perversion and an unworthy, inconsistent life. Our aim should always be based off Heavenly requirements.

So you claimed you got fired hence you are unable to repay your loans from the bank. I understand, I’ve been indebted too. I’ve said, ” To hell with paying back any loans.”

You want to know what God said to me? He said, “Phoebe, what thief you have become, what sloppy, unrighteous life you live. You are a lier.” I was astonished, when I heard that voice, I was so ashamed. I looked around wondering who else heard because it was so clear, that whisper was so loud. I knew it wasn’t my son who said that because he bearly even speaks English, he speaks part Minioneeze and part English. Then as i tried to figure out where that voice came from, again I heard, “Even me you have robbed.”

I got so nervous, I could barely think. Then instantly my brain was opted in and memories flashed before me. One by one, right before my face, I saw my lies. My tithes I have not paid, my debts I have neglected. Those images showed me how filthy my mind, my actions and my life were. Then God didn’ t stopped there, he said, ” Yourself you even robbed me of, where is thy offering, why have you given to me the least of you, yet you claimed you love me?”

Oh God, I have never cried so passionately before seeing all my sins before me. I felt my breath was leaving me, I could hardly control my brokenness. The last thing I would want to do is to give my least self to God who is Almighty. With this revelation, I have been inspired to take back my life, pay my debts, pay my tithes and offer myself entirely to the works of God, to the building up of his Kingdom, to the development of my Faith.

It is such an amazing process that I have been experiencing and I pray you do the same and experience God’s amazing works. I am inlove and just trusting to see the working of God’s hands in my life. Though it is not ironed out entirely as yet in terms of giving myself completely to God’s ministries, discipleship, evangelism, leadership and knowledge, I am in the process and God is directing and rearranging my time management. I will not rush because God is not of haste, I will not say I am perfect because I am still at the Potter’s house. Take back your life, start paying your tithes, repay your debts, stop being late for your engagements, stop being inconsistent with everything you do, stop speaking strong and walking weak, stop procrastinating, stop fearing the end results of things you’ve never experienced before, stop limiting yourselves, stop giving yourselves over to idols and withholding yourselves from God and stop believing the worst and start believing the BEST.

What I’ve discovered over the years is that my life reflected the way I pay my tithes. Just as I was inconsistent, tardy and cheated with my tithes, my life surrounded those very habitual negatives. I couldn’t really see how my money was spent, I didn’t have a budget, I had no control of my earnings, I was living with a slummy mind.

But may I tell you, the moment I dedicated myself to tithing and repaying my loans, I became in control, consistent, I had peace of mind, I saw how every penny was spent for a good cause, I felt extremely secured in my life and i gained power over my surrounding. Robbing God is like robbing yourself of your own life. It is not wise to do such an act.

So are you unsure as to how much is tithing? Only one-tenth, that’s all, nothing more nothing less. For example if you earn $1,000, your tithes would be $100.

Proverbs 3:9-10 stated, “Honour the Lord with thy substance and with the first fruits of all thine increase, so shall thy barns be filled with plenty and thy presses shall burst out with new wine.”

I must say, I am a true witness to this scripture. Ever since i started being passionate about tithing, I gain increase, I am more focused, consistent, disciplined and my money is spent well in accordance with my priorities, none wasted, I even am able to save. To this very day, I cannot phatom how is it I am able to save now but all I could say is, who could it be but God. Only God understands the complete design and creativity of his Supernatural ordinances. Like Malachi 3: 8- 12 stated, ” Will a man rob God? yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings. Ye are cursed with a curse: for ye have robbed me, even this whole nation. Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of Hosts. If I will not open you the windows of Heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it. And I will rebuke the devour for your sakes and he shall not destroy the fruits of your ground, neither shall your vine cast her fruit before the time in the field, Saith the Lord of Hosts. And all nations shall call you blessed: for ye shall be a delightsome land, saith the Lord of Hosts.”

Remember, Heaven isn’t free, you must fight the good fight, be deliberate about tithing until it becomes apart of you. Tithe your purpose and curse not yourselves and your loved ones by robbing God.

Be awaken from stagnation and tithe into Heaven.

Remember to comment your views and click that follow icon. Be blessed.

Is Oral Sex acceptable within the perimeters of Marriage?

I just spotted your retired, wrinkled eyes peeking through your Forty Two (42) years of marriage and wondering what glory have you missed or what obscurity is this neonatal Child of God bringing to the table.

But not to worry, you can either learn through my writings or you may scrutinize based on your own perception, conception or just merely your conviction. So let’s firstly look at marriage. Marriage in its biblical sense is the union of man and woman as husband and wife, or, abstractly the union or relationship viewed as an institution. Marriage was divinely instituted in the Garden of Eden in the form of monogamy which we would clearly see in Genesis 2:24, “Therefore a man should leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh.” Noah also could be described as the second founder of the race, had only one wife as it is explained in Genesis 7:7, “So Noah, with his sons, his wife and his son’s wives went into the ark because of the waters of the flood.”

The new testament also approves only monogamy as explained in Matthew 19:3-9. So then we clearly see that the birthright design of a marriage is man and woman solely monogamy and not polygamy. Now let us look closely at sex. In the Noun context Sex maybe defined as sexual activity including sexual intercourse. Also let’s view oral sex. Oral sex is the sexual activity in which the genitals of one partner are stimulated by mouth of the other.

Now that we have looked closely at those subjects by definition lets look at what the bible says about it all. While the bible does not specifically address either question, there are definitely biblical principles that apply. So we may ask the question, “Is Oral Sex a sin?” Let us look at what Hebrew 13:4 states, “Marriage is honourable in all and the bed undefiled; but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” Because marriage is honourable unto God and the bed remains undefiled, any sexual activity that involves ONLY

the wife and husband is acceptable by God. We must remember that Sex was designed solely for married couples. Because of the guidelines that were laid out, we should be confident as to how far we go in our sexual pleasures for example, in Thessalonians 4:3-5 it states that adultery is sin. What is adultery we may ask? Adultery is the willful violation of the marriage contract by either of the parties, through sexual intercourse with third parties. It was forbidden by the seventh commandment. With this being said, we see therefore that the sexual pleasures of threesome, engaging a third person or other parties are forbidden by God hence this kind of sexual act defiles the bed.

Oral sex is a type of sex that may very well be between wife and husband. Sex outside of marriage are looked at as fornication, which fornication is said to be a sin. Non-married couples are not to practice such a act because since the time of Adam and Eve, God made sex to be a beautiful expression of love for married couples.

In order to properly analyze your sex life to judge if its in alignment with the guidelines of God, you may ask yourself these several questions:

Is there mutual consent?

As it states in 1 Corinthians 7:5, ” Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self control.” This shows the importance of mutual consent in any decision that may or may not affect your sexual relationship with your husband or your wife.

Is adultery a sin?

1 Thessalonians 4: 3-5 states, “For this reason, when i could no longer endure it, i sent to know your faith, lest by some means the tempter had tempted you and our labour might be in vain.”

Is viewing Pornography, a sin?

Matthews 5: 28 states, ” But i say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” So we see here that viewing pornography and being aroused by such sight of the woman or man in the act, we become lustful and sin in our hearts and by sight.

Why do you want oral sex, is it to fulfill a pornography fantasy or for just pure sexual pleasures?

1 John 2: 16 states, ” For all that is in the world the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life is not of the Father but is of the world.”

Are you convicted by it that it is wrong?

John 16:8 states, “And when he is come, he will reprove the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgement.”

To help us to better understand what the conviction of sin is, we may look at what it is or may not be. The first important thing we must know is that conviction of sin is not a guilty heart or even shameful face of what sinful act there may. Such feelings are commonly experienced by almost if not everyone. However, this is not true conviction of sin. The second thing to look at is, conviction of sin is not a sense of trepidation or foreboding of divine punishment. It is never being fearful or anxious of any act of sin. These feelings are also generally experienced in the hearts and mind of sinners. True conviction of sin is something absolutely different. The word convict is translated in the greek word elencho, which means, “To convince someone of the truth; To reprove; To acuse; To refute; or cross examined a witness.”

What the holy spirit does is to act as a prosecuting attorney who reveals evil, reproves evil-doers and convinces people that they need a saviour. To be convicted simply is to feel the sheer loathsomeness of sin. This comes about when we have seen God’s purity, holiness, his beauty and also when we recognize that sin cannot dwell with him, Like what Psalms 5:4 and Isaiah 6:5 explained about his sinless character. So let us understand the true meaning of conviction before we even answer those guideline questions. Because on many occasions we have a tendency to confuse guilt and shame for conviction and it is not so.

So what is God saying to you, are you sinning to please your husband or wife by orally edifying him or her?

Or are you in one accordance with God’s words and his guidelines when you orally pleases your husband or your wife?

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Why have thee thrown thy balls sloppily in thy closet???

Romans 2:26-32

For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections:

For even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burnt in their lust one towards another; men with men working that which is unseemingly and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.

And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness, full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity, whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, without understanding, covenant breakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful:

Who knowing the judgement of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.

As it is laid out in that scripture we understand that God have established his standards and there are sins and then there are SINS.

Homosexuality is one of those sins that falls under sexual immorality. Paul argued that homosexual sin is serious and as such the unrepentant, active homo sinners will by no means enter the Kingdom of God. Paul also encouraged his readers not to be deceived by fake teachings and perverse knowledge. He declared there will be those whom deny this truth and argue that some forms of homosexual livity are ok and should be acceptable by society and by God. However, Paul was very precised in his arguments. He said homosexuality leads people to damnation and destruction. It is not a unique sin, nothing about it is indifferent or extraordinary. It is a sin like any other as Paul explained. His list included several forms of sexual immorality and adultery. It also includes non sexual types of sins, such as: Drunkenness, theft, unforgiveness etc. Tho homosexuality sin is incredibly serious but it is not the only serious sin, all sins are indeed serious and have their own consequencies and outcomes. All sins open many doors of strong-holds in your life, such as: Physical and spiritual death, misery, bitterness, jealousy, mental illnesses, rejection, S.T.I.’s, infidelity, addiction and the list could go on forever. Apart of societal issues is that we tend to trivialized other socalled small sins such as: Greed, drunkenness, reviling, and defrauding others but when the topic is about homosexuality and adultery, a time bomb goes off in our heads and we instantly downgrade some and upgrade the others in relation to severity. We have placed this enormous amount of energy, judgement and condemnation on ones we perceived to be great and serious sins.

But could it be because our mind is carnal or very small, we tend to capitalized on things our mind apparently can’t handle? All sins are sins and none is greater than the other. God is such an amazing God, that his mind is supreme, and it envelopes that which we couldn’t even bare to understand.

God forgives and he loves us and accepts us and see’s us beyond our flaws. Like Paul said and such were some of you. You were washed, sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of God. This brought me back to a few years back. I was working at a Supermarket in New York City, just a little off Flatbush Avenue and there I met this girl with thick, strong, black locs, with eyes of darkness written within them, her attirement suggested it all but I am unworthy to judge another’s character or their lives. We became friends and I decided I would make a difference. The day came where we exchanged numbers but it turnt out the first phone call was the last.

At that point i’ve realized some can’t be helped in up close in person because some can only be helped by intercessory prayers.

So i had discovered that my sole purpose at that moment was to intercede on her behalf. I prayed for her couple times per week. Then there it was, she whispered to me, “I like you, you are sexy?”

I immediately gasped for air because i have never seen or heard a woman spoke with such confusion. I bowed my head in shame before her because of how the moment felt to me. If I could have disappeared at that moment I would have felt alive. Then I thought to myself, she must be so hurt inside to the point she could not feel ashamed as I were, what went so wrong in her life? So I looked at her and said, “You know, God really loves you, when everybody have turned their backs on you, God is holding you.”

“Your destiny is not to be a woman’s wife. God is going to place you at a Church and there you will find your husband and there you will experience a wonderful union.”

As I said that, she laughed hysterically, I felt like such a clown or a bombarded fool wondering what have I said that deserves such laughter. All I could have said to her was, “I’m sorry but I cannot be your go to friend but I am your friend that will be praying for you.” She laughed me to scourne and may I tell you, about two (2) years after, I was on a famous social media site browsing and she messaged me. When I viewed the message, I had to double check the display picture. It wasn’t her, I met someone new online. This girl had no locs that emphasized the many years of pain. She wasn’t wearing any dusty gothic make-up neither was she wearing any pitch black ghost like killer pants and her skin wasn’t like death. This girl called herself FAITH. Her hair was of a classy bunned style, her dress was such a flary heavenly appearance with eyes of newness. I was indeed shocked. This girl have changed. This girl have became sanctified. This girl got married, she was so beautiful it made me cried. Prayers do come true. There was absolutely a difference, her annointing possessed change. She said, ” Phoebe, thank you. You prayed for me, you are my sister in Christ.”

May I tell you, even when I had backslided, she was stronger than a rock and still is, going hardcore in her ministries and demonstrating her annointing. She thought it was my prayer that made God heard her cries and delivered her but she have no idea what her existence and sin have done for me. If it weren’t for her sin, I would not have had this drive and passion for prayer. That was my first encounter with the powers of prayer. I strongly believe that prayers can move mountains and calm storms. Anyone can be forgiven as long as you are willing to change and turn from your evil ways. Your sins are not too big or contrary for God to forgive and accepts you.

If you are reading this and you know this story is a reflection of your life and you are convicted by it and you feel ashamed, fearful, guilty, filthy…….STOP!

Don’t feel guilty, don’t feel ashamed, don’t feel unaccepted, or fearful because God will still hear you and answer you if you would just repent with a broken and contrite heart. God will forgive all your sins and give you a new life once you are determined to turn a blind eye to the old you. You are now dead to sin and alive in Christ. Go fort and testify of God’s mighty works. Keep not thy balls in the closet because your closet is filled with corpse and scorpion waiting to repaint your room in death. Throw out your skeletons, gather your balls and allow God to clean thy closet by tarring your mind with a fresh annointing.

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Predestination and Salvation, are we predestined by God?

So as I dived head way in this research, the intensity got me aroused that I could not stop reading and pulling scriptures and to add to that I had to make my way to Bible Studies so that my findings maybe confirmed.  So here goes…..dang! Dang! Dang!

Let’s look at the word Pre, Destination and Predestination firstly.   Pre means before; Destination means the place to which someone or something is going or being sent and Predestination in Christian theology means the doctrine that God had ordained all that will happen, especially with regards to the salvation of some and not all of humankind.

Now, which doctrine does this applies to or which theologian believed such a thing as this?

These teachings have been associated with the teachings of St. Augustine of Hippo and that of the famous, well talked about Calvin.  Who was Calvin?

John Calvin was a French theologian  born July 10th, 1509 in a city called Noyon, France, who died at the age of 55 in the city of Geneva, France.   A Catholic in his younger years who divorced those believes for what he believed to be a predestined one.  He then created what is called Calvinism, Calvinistic doctrine, which teaches that God predestined us.

Calvin went ahead, and created a 5 points umbrella in order for us to remember what Calvinism fosters.  This is laid out by the acrostic TULIP, which means:

T- Total Depravity (also could be looked at as total inability because of Romans 5: 12; without the power of the Holy Spirit, the natural man is blinded and deaf to the message of the gospel.)

U- Unconditional Election ( this speaks to the selection process, meaning God chose those whom he was pleased to bring to a knowledge of himself, not based on merit shown by God’s Grace and not by whom he discovered to accept him and his gospel but solely upon the counsel of God’s will, some for glory and some for damnation.)

L-Limited Atonement (meaning Christmas did not die for all but he died for the born again Christians, for the elected, predestined ones who are in right standing with God.

Irresistible Grace- (Men come to Christ when the Lord calls them John 6:44)

P-Perseverance  of the Saints ( This means, only the elected, predestined ones will remain in God’s hands and never to be plucked out and cannot fail only them will persevere)


Oh boy and it just got even more dramatic.  It’s like a story of an horror movie, lol.  Can you imagine living a doubtful life?  I mean If this were true, i would be scared not knowing if I was predestined for hell and it doesn’t matter what I do or how I live, whether or not my life is right or I’m the most sinful person on earth, I would be super tired wondering daily, omg did God predestined me for Heaven or wait, am I going to hell? Wooooow! That sounds too much like an arbitrary God right? No…..that’s not the all powerful, all merciful, all supernatural God that I know.  The God I know wants us to solely trust in him and feed off his words and believe that whatever he promised us will be fulfilled because he said so.  John 3:16 states, For God so loved the world he gave his only begotten Son that whosoever believes in him will not perish but have everlasting life.   This scripture speaks to the sovereignty of God, it speaks to his desire for us to freely choose him, the desire for us to believe that he is God and he is confident in his capability to perform mighty works and does not need to force or perform his works by control.  The God that speaks true leadership and does not take 100% responsibility for our destination.  The God I know seeks our effort as well, he comes to us graciously by spirit and it is our choice to accept him or not.  Did the bible spoke of predestination? Of course it did, but in what context?

The term predestined was found in the bible several times in the epistles of Paul, here is what the scripture said:

Romans 8:28-30

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose.  For whom he foreknew, he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.  Moreover whom he predestined, these he also called; whom he called, these he also justified; and whom he justified, these he also glorified.

So let me guess, now you are thinking, wow so Calvin is right? .O.M.G.  lol no, it got me at some point years ago too but it was since 2013 I was reading and it came to me this revelation, which was also confirmed by my knowledgeable Pastor and his Ministers; it is important that we understand that eternal life in God’s Kingdom is the birthright destiny of every single human species.  However, hold your guns!  This does not mean that every single solitary being will arise at the destiny God is desirous of.  What it means is that, God purpose was for man to be saved but because of our free will it is not so.  Predestination applied to the purpose God had originally determined for us when he decided to make creatures like us bearing his image.  He foreknew the weaknesses and strengths of each of us and so he knows what we may or may not choose and our choices alters our destination.  So let’s pree Judas Iscariott, when God said, ‘ And he who dips and break bread like me will betray me,’ he did not say in addition to that,  ‘he who dips will also hang himself and commit damnation unto himself.’  Judas had a responsibility to choose good or bad; he had the choice to seek repentance and turn from his evil ways or to whither in the spirit of condemnation.  Like wise Peter, he chose a path of repentance.  If angels could be elected by God, failed in their sinful ways and be dammed by God, what says us?  Calvin believed the elected cannot fail and would never be plucked out of God’s hands.  If Lucifer could be an elected angel, and then be thrown out of Heaven because of sin, what says us?  We all are equal in that we are unworthy of God’s grace, of his unmerited favour and so it is not by our works that we are saved but by God’s Mercy and his Grace.  Whom ever believes in him and lives a life of faithfulness and righteousness, obeying his commandments and living by his words, he by God’s grace will see the Kingdom of God and have eternal life.

For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believeso in him will not perish but have everlasting life.  John 3:16.

What does John 3:16 means to you, do you believe it justifies the Tulip doctrine or do u believe it justifies the point that WE ARE NOT PREDESTINED?


Had to break this short ad possible, stay tuned because the journey continues……. Dang! Dang! Dang! Dang!